Couldn't Help Myself

Beverly wrote about her dislike for clinch covers, and it reminded me (again) how easy it is to find romance novels with covers you can't help but wonder what the artist was thinking. Publishers need to give readers (and authors!) covers they can appreciate in a positive way. I do appreciate these covers, really, but not for the intended reasons. The books themselves are probably quite wonderful, but here's my take on the covers, with thanks to Beverly, Candy, and Sarah, who inspired me.





Her: "Is this OK?"
Him: "I'm perfectly comfortable, I assure you."
Her: "Um . . . isn't the breeze bothering you?"
Him: "I've got the leg warmers, and I enjoy a good breeze when I'm wearing a kilt. I'm sure no one can see under it at this angle."
Her: "Dear, I think you're starting to wobble. . . . How can I practice my bronco riding if you fall over?"





Him: "No, I don't have a really long neck. . . . No, I'm not wearing a neck brace. It's just a turtleneck, damn it! A turtleneck!"





Her: "Dearest one, I need your help." (Stamps feet.)
Him: "What?"
Her: "My hair is all tangled. Would you brush it for me? Pretty please?"
Him: "Really, I do have other things to do . . ."
Her: "If you won't do it, I'll ask your brother. He's the daring twin, after all."
Him: "Yes, but I'm smarter than he is--at least I wear protective gear when going out in windy weather. The sash coordinates with my kilt, too."





Him: "I'm . . . too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts . . ."
Her: "I do love that manly chest. But why does he insist on wearing the fish scale pants? Yes, they coordinate with his tunic, but really . . ."
Him: "Hey, at least this is my natural hair color."





Her: "I love the way it feels when you nibble my neck. But--"
Him: "But what?"
Her: "Your sword . . ."
Him: "Yes?"
Her: "It's so long . . . it looks dangerous. Do be careful where you put it."

Alyssa