Expenses and Updates

I bought a laptop; I should get it sometime next week. I arranged to have it sent to my office so that I don't have to take a day off to be home and sign for it. I think it will arrive in the nick of time. Tonight when I tried to turn on my computer, it originally went into safe mode. The last time that happened, my hard drive crashed completely soon thereafter. I guess I'd better finish backing up my files.

I've been having trouble viewing many of the images on my blog. At first I figured it was just my wonky computer, but I had the same problem at work. Luckily, I backed up most of the images and have transferred them to my domain. They should appear just fine now.

I'm currently reading Twice Burned by Jan Coffey for Keishon's TBR challenge. It's been challenging to get through, but I'll explain that more once I finish the book.

I'm also adding to my book wishlist. I'm finding all kinds of books for other people in a book trading group, but I haven't given people many books to find for me. So I'm trying to change that. Who knew it would be so challenging to create a list of books I want?

Alyssa

Villain Who Died Too Soon

I watched Episode I of Star Wars a few nights ago, and today I've had the Darth Maul final battle music in my head. In fact, I can't get it out of my head. So, this is my tribute to Darth Maul, played by Ray Park.



Here's a villain who definitely died too soon.

Alyssa

June Reviews

Now that June is coming to a close, I thought I would provide links to my June reviews for The Romance Reader. From now on, I will provide links to my reviews once a month.

Beach Blanket Bad Boys
The Beast Within
Dead As a Doornail
Larger Than Life

I've written two other reviews that haven't been posted yet; they'll probably go live in July.

Alyssa

A Few Links

Here are some links from my favorites list. Once again, Sybil made me do it. Most of the links in my favorites are related to romance author sites and reader and author blogs. The ones listed below are some of the non-romance sites.

Crime News 2000
This is my main source for crime news.

Lifetime Moments
A great site for scrapbookers. It has a message board, gallery, and store.

Northern Lights at Home
An obvious plug for my candle business. But if you can't make obvious plugs at your own blog, where can you?

Paperback Swap
Offers a place for people to trade books. You post books you have available so people can request them. You can request books from others in return.

Quoteland
This is a site I often go to find quotations.

Two Peas in a Bucket
Another site that's a nice resource for scrapbookers. This one also has a message board, gallery, and store.

Unsolved Mysteries Online
For all things relating to the TV program, Unsolved Mysteries.

Alyssa

Does Your Mother Know You Read This Blog?

Courtesy of Sybil, I've discovered my blog's rating.


What rating is your journal?
brought to you by Quizilla

Please make sure you have parental guidance before reading this blog.

Alyssa

Fever

Based on Laurie's recommendation, I bought Kimberly Dean's e-book, Fever. As with previous books, I printed it out, though this one was 80 pages. It was a fast read, though, and quite enjoyable: 4 out of 5.

Delia is at work when her fever spikes. A coworker sends her home and tells her he'll stop by later to see how she's doing, so she's not surprised when a man shows up at her apartment. He helps the fever subside in some unorthodox ways.

The identity of the man remains a secret for much of the story, so I won't reveal it here. Is it the coworker? You'll have to read it and see.

Fever is quite hot (pardon the pun). I didn't count how many of the 80 pages were devoted to sex, but I'd say it's a high percentage. Still, there's a good story there, too, which makes it a nice combination.

Speaking of e-books, I need to get serious about looking for a laptop. If you have any suggestions or can direct me to a good site offering tips for choosing a laptop, please let me know.

Alyssa

Are You Looking for Me?

I'm always intrigued to see the search engine searches that bring people to my blog. I review the searches occasionally thanks to Xtreme Tracker (see the globe in the black box at lower left). Here are the most recent searches along with my comments.

• dictionary "beta man" Well, I do like beta heroes, and I'm sure I've mentioned that in more than one blog entry.
• "Chuck Pfarrer" Warrior Soul worst He attended the Target Tampa weekend in January. I haven't read Warrior Soul yet, but I doubt it's the worst.
• Romance Novel witch roses Yes, I review romance novels here. I have yet to be called a witch (that I know of) or given roses for it, though.
• turtleneck "neck brace" This probably brought up a recent spoof of romance covers.
• "tim bindner" arrested Not that I know of. I read a true-crime book about Bindner, though.
• educating caroline book I read and blogged about this Meg Cabot book.
• brockmann suz deck sophia I posted a Q&A where Brockmann talks about Decker and Sophia.
• book murder in the hamptons I read, I liked, I blogged.
• philpin sexy girls John Philpin wrote the book about Bindner (above). If there were sexy girls involved, I don't remember them.
• alyssa That's my name, don't take it in vain.
• Hunter, linda - to die for I did read Linda Howard's To Die For.
• "Shelly Laurenston" I enjoyed one of her e-books.
• wicked women 101 review I reviewed it in January.
• shelter from the storm romance novel I read but didn't particularly like this novel.
• Suzanne McMinn The Beast Within review I wrote a review, and you'll find it here.
• bookworm bitches erin Looks like a combination of The Romance Bookworm, Smart Bitches, and Erin McCarthy. Perhaps I should invite them all over for dinner sometime.
• sookie and eric steamy sex scenes I enjoy reading them too, believe me.
• what are eve and alyssa going to do tomorrow? I don't know, but I sure hope it involves Roarke.
• suzanne brockmann spaceman Spaceman will be the hero of Brockmann's next Team 10 book.
• murder in the hamptons.com Does the book have its own website now?

What I really want to know is how many people who searched for these phrases found what they were looking for here.

Alyssa

Three Wishes

Amelia Elias's Three Wishes is another of my recent e-book purchases. It is an e-book, but this picture shows the format I read it in--yes, I printed it and had it bound. Obviously I prefer print copies. I have yet to fully embrace the e-formats.



Three Wishes is a short story (27 pages, to be exact). I read and liked the excerpt, and since I enjoy romances with coworkers (still haven't figured out why this is so appealing to me), I bought it.

With the help of a genie, Lucas found the love of his love when he met Allyson. Unfortunately, he forgot to wish for her to love him in return. Now Allyson is moving to another branch of the office in another city. Lucas figures he has nothing to lose by approaching her, so he does.

This is a fun story that reads quickly. With short stories, it's crucial to make the characters come to life quickly, and Elias does that well: 4 out of 5.

I loved the way Lucas and Allyson discover they have been fantasizing about each other. Then they go on to fulfill their fantasies. The story is pretty hot. It does make liberal use of one of my least favorite words--p__sy--but that's a personal preference. I did wish we had seen them in the same city at the end, but otherwise I enjoyed the story. It's quite strong, especially for the number of pages.

Alyssa

Catching Caroline

I thought about using "Damn you, Sylvia," as the title of this post, but I decided that was too harsh, even though I mean it in the best possible way. Let me explain.

Last weekend I was doing the web surf thing and I visit Sylvia Day's blog. The cover of Catching Caroline catches my eye (pun intended), and I decide to read the excerpt. From there, I decide to buy the story.

So now I had a new e-book to try. I printed a copy, since it's only 36 pages, and sat down to read. And I loved it. Just loved it! It may be short, but it's a terrific story nonetheless. She sets up the characters well, turns up the heat, and adds a surprising twist: 4.5 out of 5.

Back I go to Sylvia's website to see what else she's written, and here's what I see: another short story and a book that won't be out until early 2006. That's it. If you heard an eerie high-pitched scream, that was me expressing my frustration. Damn you, Sylvia.

And thanks for a fun read. I look forward to the next one.

Alyssa

Passionate Destiny

Dee S. Knight was one of the e-book authors who commented here during a discussion about e-books. I appreciated her thoughts and visited her website, where I was intrigued by the description of Passionate Destiny. I'm glad I read it, and I definitely recommend it: 4 out of 5.

Margaret, a professor, learns that her women's studies classes are being cut. There's a chance she'll be back to teach, but only if she publishes. Margaret goes home, understandably upset. Then she sees that she has received divorce papers (it's in the final stages, all she need to do is sign) and a mysterious letter indicating that she has inherited a house in Virginia. Since she's just lost her job, she figures that this is a good time to look at the place, take care of any repairs, and sell it.

Aaron Belton is delighted about the possibility of the house being put up for sale. His family has long believed the house should be theirs. Aaron tried to buy the house from Margaret's great-great-aunt but was unsuccessful. Aaron works in construction, and Margaret contacts him to take a look at the house. Aaron agrees to work on the house, and he finds himself attracted to Margaret.

The first scene in Passionate Destiny shows Margaret getting the news that she won't be teaching after this term. This immediately struck a chord with me because I once wanted to get a Ph.D. I'll never forget how difficult it was to get rejection letters from Ph.D. programs. I'm glad now that I didn't pursue it, but I sympathized with Margaret's disappointment.

As I continued reading, I felt ambivalent about Margaret. She is condescending toward Aaron during their initial meeting when she believes he works at the small-town gas station and later, when she thinks he's just a construction worker. She eventually realizes that she's a snob, and I appreciated her realization and the fact that she comes to appreciate the people and things she originally looked down on. This trait turned into a plus because I enjoyed seeing her develop and grow as a character. But at the beginning, it slowed down the story a little for me.

There's one moment when Margaret tells Aaron how she discovered her ex-husband's infidelity by walking in on him with someone. Aaron is aroused by her description of the scene, which made me uncomfortable. In Aaron's defense, he's picturing Margaret and himself in the pose, but still . . .

These things aside, Passionate Destiny is a strong, solid, hot read. Balancing an interesting story with steamy love scenes isn't easy, but Knight does an excellent job with it. The couple's relationship becomes sexual quickly. With some books, a quick jump into bed (or elsewhere) feels forced, but here it seems natural. I enjoyed watching Aaron and Margaret getting to know each other better, too. There is a delightful scene where Aaron takes Margaret outside to see the sunset. It was nice to see them interact in everyday moments as well as in bed.

There is an interesting paranormal element in the book as well. At first I thought it might be a reincarnation story. I don't want to spoil it for you, so I won't go into any more details. I'll just say it's quite good.

I'm off to Dee's site to see what else she's written . . .

Alyssa

E-Book Extravaganza

After an initial test of the waters in the world of e-books, I'm now wading in a bit further. No, I haven't bought a laptop or found my PDA. I'm also not sitting at my computer to read them. Instead, I'm either reading print copies offered by the publisher or copies I've printed from the PDF versions. Here's what I'm reading now and will be reading shortly:

• Passionate Destiny: Dee S. Knight
  I have a print copy graciously signed and sent to me by the author. I've read about two-thirds and will blog about it once I finish in the next few days.


• Three Wishes: Amelia Elias
  I read an excerpt that I enjoyed, and it features a hook I tend to like--coworkers who fall in love. I printed a copy to read.


• The Frog Prince: Ellen Fisher
  After seeing that one of Fisher's books would be reviewed at Paperback Reader, I went to Fisher's site, read a few excerpts, and bought this one. I printed a copy to read.


• Catching Caroline: Sylvia Day
  I visit Sylvia's blog two or three times a month. I liked the cover and the excerpt, so I bought it. Once again, I've printed a copy.


• Wildfire: Cheyenne McCray
  I found a print version in a used bookstore will read it this week as well. It looks interesting.

At this rate, I may end up adding more e-books to my TBR pile, which is certainly big enough already. Still, print versions seem to be my preferred method of reading them. (Where is that stupid PDA?!)

Alyssa

Whoosh

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
--Douglas Adams

There are some days I wouldn't mind being fired. Really. Take now, for instance. I have a bunch of Web projects (among other things) that need to be completed and online by July 1. Will they be finished? Yes, but they won't all be finished by July 1. If I worked 24/7 on Web projects alone, I might be able to get them done. Maybe. Strangely enough, though, I'm not a machine, so I can't work 24/7 on anything.

As it is, I'm not even able to spend eight hours a day on the Web projects, because I'm also writing an interview, a magazine article, online announcements, and more. Every project is top priority. I'm split in so many different directions each day that being drawn and quartered would be less painful.

We're hiring two more writers, which will help in the future. It doesn't help at the moment, though. I thought things were bad a few months ago, when I felt like I was always being forced to choose between doing a job well and doing it to meet an unrealistic deadline. Now I don't have the "luxury" of either option. It's difficult to work when it doesn't seem like anything I do decreases the work load.

I have a rather distinctive (loud) laugh. At lunch today, a coworker mentioned that she doesn't hear me laugh any more. Amazing how unrealistic expectations and deadlines can squeeze the joy out of a person. Go figure.

This complaint may not stay online very long, since my coworkers know about and visit my blog. Although most of them feel the same way.

Alyssa

Weekend Recap

Tomorrow you'll find my next column at Romancing the Blog. The topic is one I think many readers can relate to. As usual, I wrote one column, then ended up writing another on a completely different topic. This appears to be my writing pattern for these columns. Anyway, hope you enjoy it.

In book news, I've set aside Lady in Waiting for the second time; I'm really having trouble getting into it, in part because the heroine is driving me crazy. Back to the TBR pile it goes. Perhaps the third try will be the charm, but for now I'm moving on to review books and books I'm reading for a contest.

Back to work tomorrow. The weekends are always too damn short. The day's packed with six hours of meetings, too. I haven't decided whether that's good or bad. I guess it's good because I'm sick of doing the same thing every day, and bad because my work doesn't go away just because I'm in meetings. Just thinking about it makes me tired already.

Off to do laundry. Hope you had a good weekend!

Alyssa

Abby Cooper, Psychic Eye

Since Medium is one of my favorite shows these days, I was intrigued by the title of this mystery, Abby Cooper, Psychic Eye. Abby is a different kind of psychic than Medium's Allison Dubois; while Allison communicates with the dead, Abby's strength is in giving impressions about the future. During one reading, she warns a woman about a man: "You could be getting yourself into trouble with this dark-haired man." Weeks later, the woman is murdered.

Abby has never worked with the police before, but she has a blind date with Dutch Rivers, who turns out to be a cop. He's skeptical about psychics, and she's paranoid about police officers, but after a rough beginning, they work together to find out who murdered the woman.

I was fascinated by the explanations of how Abby's abilities work. She can determine lies from truth by hearing a voice in her head saying, "Liar, liar, pants on fire." And Abby's predictions are amazingly accurate. The author of the book, Victoria Laurie, is a psychic as well as a writer. This is the first book in a series; I definitely want to read the second.

I did wish there was more romance in the story, but then, I'm a romance reader. And Abby Cooper, Psychic Eye sets the stage for more mystery and romance to come.

Alyssa

The Huntress

I seem to be reading Silhouette Bombshells these days. Not long ago, it was A.K.A. Goddess. This week I read The Huntress by Crystal Green. It's a good book: 4 out of 5.

When Camille Howard's lover, Griffin, is kidnapped by vampires, she vows to find him if he's still alive. She ends up needing the help of Sargent, a mysterious man whose determination to kill any vampire he finds conflicts with her own desire to conduct research and help them return to society. This conflict is a fascinating one, and I like the fact that this book shows the benefits and problems with both approaches.

Camille is a great multifaceted character. She is compassionate yet ruthless, capable yet willing to accept help. Sargent is an equally interesting character; I only wish he'd been in the story more than he was. As for Griffin . . . well, that's edging toward spoiler territory, so I won't say anything more about him.

Usually I keep books I rate 4 or higher. In this case, while I enjoyed reading The Huntress, I know I won't read it again. I felt a bit like I'd been on an emotional roller coaster.

Alyssa

Making a List

Now that the list of authors who will be at RWA's book signing in Reno next month is posted, I'm making my own list of authors I want to make sure I meet. I've just counted the number of authors on my list, and here's the number I came up with:

41.

Now, I've never been to one of RWA's signings, so I have no idea how hectic (or not?) they are. But 41 still seems like a lot to get to in three hours. So I've highlighted the authors I really, really want to meet. That number:

18.

This strikes me as much more feasible, so my current plan is to make sure I meet these 18 and consider it a bonus if I'm able to meet anyone else.

I'll wait another week or two before I worry about how I will get all the books home.

Alyssa

Another Bookstore Conversation

I may have to stop going to bookstores, since they result in strange conversations with employees. I was at the mall getting some perfume (Clinique's Happy), and decided to stop at Waldenbooks. I had made a quick run through romance and was looking at the Ellora's Cave paperbacks.

Entirely Too-Perky Employee: How are you doing? Are you finding everything?

Alyssa: (Wants to be left alone to puruse the options) Yes, I'm fine.

Employee: (Looks at Jaci Burton's Summer Heat, which I have in my hand) Have you read any of Ann Rice's books?

Alyssa: (Knows this is going to turn into a conversation) No.

Employee: (Reaches down to pull out a boxed set) They are written under a psuedonym, but I don't know how to say the last name.

Alyssa: (Has heard about these books and wants the conversation to stop now)

Employee: This one is three parts. It's a retelling of Sleeping Beauty, but instead of being woken with a kiss, he wakes her with . . . well, you know.

Alyssa: (Doesn't know the details and would prefer to remain in ignorance) Huh.

Employee: She's taken to a kingdom where she is taught to obey with, you know . . .

Alyssa: (Starts to worry about whether anyone else is listening in on this conversation)

Employee: . . . spanking and stuff.

Alyssa: (Feels face turning red)

Employee: The story is great. But some of the stuff is extreme--well, I ended up talking to my mom about it.

Alyssa: (Feels brain explode while envisioning the conversation between this woman in her 20s and her mother)

Employee: (Smiles widely and holds up Sleeping Beauty) We're having a buy-four-get-one-free sale.

Alyssa: (Hopes to move the conversation along quickly) Cool. That's great. I'll keep looking, then.

Employee: If you buy this set, you'll already have three books.

Alyssa: (Decides it's time to continue to another section of the store)

Employee: Just let me know when you're ready, and I'll manipulate the computer to get that discount.

The five books I ended up buying (and this employee did ring up my order): one Ellora's Cave (Summer Heat), one anthology, one mystery, one Harlequin Presents, and one true-crime. No Sleeping Beauty.

I think the employee was disappointed.

Alyssa

No Time to Blog . . .

. . . because I'm backing up the files on my computer. I should have done this long ago, but the need is more urgent since Nicole mentioned that my computer might be on its last, er, desk? Last legs doesn't quite seem appropriate.

So, I'm uploading all of my scrapbooking layouts to Snapfish, and putting all of my other files on disks. Not CDs, mind you, but disks, because I don't have a CD burner--now I'm suddenly wondering if I need a CD burner. Sometimes I feel quite computer saavy while other times I feel woefully behind the times.

In any case, I'm backing up files. In the meantime, please enjoy two scrapbook pages I created last night.

Baby's Got Blue Eyes, Page 1
Baby's Got Blue Eyes, Page 2

The pictures are of one of my nieces.

Alyssa

Just Call Me the Viscountess

I'm perhaps a little too excited by this.



I got it for guessing that the heroine described in this ad:

Russian Royalty Seeking Sanctuary
Single Russian female, falsely accused of murder, seeks sanctuary in England from crazy-ass royal cousin out to kill me. Are you a lonely widower with a difficult female child? Let me help.

. . . is Anastasia Ivanovna from Lisa Kleypas' Midnight Angel.

Hurray for me!

Alyssa

The Heat Is On

One of my coworkers tells me that she checked my blog and was vexed to see nothing new. To make her happy, I am posting this true story. This is how I successfully averted the potential explosion of my computer. (Knock on wood.)

I mentioned before that I am having trouble with my computer. First, I was having trouble turning it on, then I had trouble getting it to shut down or restart. For a while, I've just had it turned on 24/7, restarting (with Ctrl + Alt +Del when necessary) when it wouldn't run so well.

Last night, I was doing the internet surf thing, when I realized that my hard drive (or whatever you want to call it) was approximately 152 degrees when I touched it. Oy! Yes, by keeping in on all the time, I was gearing up for a major explosion. Needless to say, I turned the computer off. I will turn it off every day, even if it becomes difficult to start again. I'll just remember that it would be more difficult to start if it exploded and there were computer guts all over the room.

Alyssa

Five

From the RWA signing site:

Please note: Since this is a literacy fundraiser, please do not bring more than five of your own books for the authors to sign. We want to raise as much money as possible to help fight illiteracy!

::Whimpers:: That must be five books per author, right? I'm still planning to spend at least $200 . . .

OK, I'm joking about five books per author. But I was hoping to bring one or two books for several authors. Five will be reached all too quickly with the number of authors they have listed to attend.

Alyssa

Review Central

Why aren't I blogging? Simple. I'm writing book reviews. I've written two in the last three days and have started a third. I'm not entirely sure my brain is still working. I'm hoping that my eyes won't stay crossed permanently.

I'm typically a slow reviewer, although I read quickly. Usually I write only three reviews a month. This month, I'm probably doing five or six. That's a good thing. I think. Or it will be after I go collapse for a while.

Alyssa

I'm Not Paranoid, I'm Just Suspicious

Today at work:

Coworker: Alyssa, you are wonderful.

Alyssa: (Eyeing him skeptically) Huh?

Coworker: You're wonderful.

Alyssa: (Pausing) What do you want?

Coworker: Nothing.

Alyssa: Oh, well, thank you.

I think it may be a while before I get a compliment again.

Alyssa

Mark My Place

I own a rather surprising number of bookmarks. I have bookmarks I've received from authors, bookmarks about TV programs, handmade bookmarks, and so on. I have several dozen, enough that I bought a small basket to put them in.

Here is a sampling from my collection.



The second from the left says:

I chip away
the stone
that is not David
--Michelangelo
when asked how he created his famous statue

The one on the far right reads:

Live in each season as it passes;
breathe the air,
drink the drink,
taste the fruit,
and resign yourself
to the influences of each.
Henry David Thoreau

Perhaps the most amazing thing about my bookmarks is not how many I have, but how often I end up using an envelope or a receipt to mark my place in the book because I don't have a bookmark at hand.

What do you use as bookmarks?

Alyssa

A.K.A. Goddess

I first discovered Evelyn Vaughn earlier this year when I read Contact, one of her Silhouette Bombshells. I found A.K.A. Goddess through Paperback Swap (yay!) and read it. While I enjoyed Contact more than this book, it's still exceptionally good: 4.5 out of 5.

When professor Maggi Sanger discovers that her house has been broken into at the same time her aunt has been attacked, she goes to France to see her aunt and to discover who is behind these events. In both cases, the perpetrators were after information, and Maggi plans to find out what and why.

A.K.A. Goddess is an almost perfect blend of suspense and romance. Maggi is a strong heroine who does justice to the Bombshell premise. I enjoyed the way she was able to talk her way out of some dangerous situations but didn't hesitate to get physical when the situation required it.

I also loved Lex's complexity. He's no stereotype (neither is Maggi, for that matter), and while many things about him seem suspect, his love for Maggi is constant. But his relationship with her is complex.

I won't go to far in explaining the mystery; it's one of those things best discovered for yourself. My only quibble (and it's a minor one) is that things about the group Maggi is investigating still seem ambiguous at the end.

I have A.K.A. Goddess's sequel, Her Kind of Trouble. I'm hoping to wait a bit before reading it--when I find authors I enjoy, I try to spread out reading the books rather than reading them all at once--but I don't have much hope in my self control.

Alyssa

Beneath a Silent Moon

Tracy Grant's Beneath a Silent Moon is one of two books in her Charles and Melanie Fraser series. Daughter of the Game remains on my TBR pile; I think it was published first, but it's set after Beneath a Silent Moon chronologically, so I started with this one. It's longer than a standard romance or mystery, and I enjoyed it quite a bit: 4 out of 5.

Summarizing the story will be a bit tricky, because there's so much going on here. Melanie and Charles met in Europe when he was an intelligence agent. They married for expedient reasons. She was pregnant with another man's child (that man is never named, though it's implied that Melanie was raped), and he offered to marry her. Now they have two children; while only one is Charles's biological child, he claims and loves both.

When the story begins, Charles and Melanie have returned to England. They learn that Charles's father is going to marry a woman more than half his age, one who has given the impression that she always loved Charles. When she is murdered, Charles puts his investigative skills to the test to try and find out who killed her.

Beneath a Silent Moon is far more a mystery than a romance, though there are some romantic elements. I was intrigued by Charles and Melanie's marriage, which started out as one of convenience but has developed into something much more. Neither is able to express verbally what they mean to each other. This book also explores the issue of sex with and without emotional attachment in a way that fascinated me.

The mystery is quite well done--it certainly kept me guessing. Here comes a spoiler . . .

. . . I had a difficult time keeping track of all the illegitimate births. Wow, just amazing.

As I mentioned, I have Daughter of the Game in my TBR pile. I will enjoy seeing Charles and Melanie again. I've heard Daughter of the Game is even better than this one. If that's true, I'll be in for a wonderful read.

Alyssa

Writer in the Making

I don't write books, but I am a full-time writer and editor. I'm having one of those weeks where I can't remember why I wanted to write in the first place. Then I remembered the answer: I've always written; it's what I do.

Here is a scrapbook page featuring an Alyssa-original story. I'm not sure how old I was when I wrote it--probably the second or third grade? Little did I know that I was dealing with some fairly adult themes.



If you don't want to try and decipher the handwriting, here's the story/poem:

Samson
Samson was a mouse.
He lived in America.
He sat on a house.
He kissed in a rocket.
He met me in my pocket.
He loved my boyfriend.
He married him Boo Hoo!
DumB Mouse!

When I discover things like these, I'm glad I am a packrat. There are some pretty funny moments about this poem--the apparently bisexual boyfriend as well as the obvious challenge of a boy/mouse relationship--but I love that it helps me remember why I like writing. I enjoy being creative. Even if I am writing about a mouse.

Alyssa

What I'm Doing These Days

Last week I mentioned that my blog entries might be more infrequent while I wrote some reviews. I had a review in progress until I saw that another reviewer had posted about the same book. This is ultimately a blessing in disguise, as her review is better written than the one I was writing. She gave it the same grade I did, interestingly enough.

I wrote a review for Dead As a Doornail, and I'm working on one more. Then I have two contest books to judge and two more books to review. Tonight I started my next Romancing the Blog column. I actually had a few paragraphs already written, but the writing was clumsy, so I'm starting over. Same topic, new approach.

As for what this means to you, I'll continue to post every few days or so. I hope to be caught up again one of these days so I can get back to my usual blogging routine.

Alyssa

Fly on the Wall

I'm still pretty excited about the Books Lost and Found group, so I made a trip to another used bookstore yesterday. In addition to finding several books for others, I found 10 books for myself, including Cheyenne McCray's Wildfire.



If you had been a fly on the wall, you would have heard the following conversation.

Employee #1, whom I see regularly in the store; we often engage in small talk: (Calculates the order) Wow, that's a different cover.

Alyssa: Yes, it is unique.

Employee #1: (Picks it up to examine it more closely) Yes, it's . . . it's . . . I don't know how to describe it. (Calls out to employee #2, whom I've never seen before) Hey, check out this cover.

Employee #2: Yeah, I've seen it. It's pretty weird.

Alyssa: (Wonders if this is employee #2's usual approach to selling books) It's an e-book.

Employee #2: Huh?

Alyssa: (Realizes she knows far more about romance novels than employee #2 does) It's a print version of an e-book. I recognize the author's name and thought I'd try it.

Employee #1: You know the author?

Alyssa: (Decides the term "blog" would be a bit complicated to explain) I recognize the name because she has an online journal.

Employee #1: She does?

Alyssa: (Realizes she knows far more about the online romance community than employee #1 does) Yes. I have an online journal too, actually, where I write about the books I read.

Employee #2: Huh. I think I remember seeing another weird cover like that one. (Goes off to find it)

Alyssa: (Marvels at this new selling approach) Uh, OK.

Employee #1: I think it's an interesting cover. The people look . . . almost metallic.

Alyssa: (Wonders if employee #1 will get the joke) Yes, they do appear somewhat statuesque.

Employee #2: (Returns) Actually, that's the book. I thought there was another one like it, but that's the one.

Alyssa: (Avoids rolling eyes)

Employee #1: You'll have to tell us if you like the book. It looks pretty interesting from the cover.

Alyssa: (Notices employee #2's conspicuous silence and wonders if there will be a job opening at the store soon) Sure. I'll definitely tell you how I like it.

Employee #1: Great. It was good to see you.

Alyssa: (Wonders if the RWA endorses this bookstore, but looks forward to reading the book anyway) Yeah, you too.

Alyssa

Top Five Humorous Moments

When it comes to romance novels, I prefer drama to comedy. A quick scan of my bookshelves reveals my preference for books that are more dark than light. Still, I enjoy humor as well; here are my five favorite humorous scenes. Spoilers abound, so consider yourself warned.

Living Dead in Dallas by Charlaine Harris
Sookie Stackhouse doesn't usually attend orgies, but she accepts an invitation to one so she can use her telepathy to find out who killed a local man. Unfortunately, her boyfriend, Bill, is out of town, so he can't go with her. She turns to Bill's boss, Eric, for help. She wants him to go with her and protect her if need be. Since the man who was killed was gay, Sookie asks Eric if he can "pretend to be gay." He comes to her house wearing an interesting outfit.

Eric had been wearing a long trench coat. Now he threw it off dramatically, and I could only stand and stare. Normally, Eric was a blue-jeans-and-T-shirt kind of guy. Tonight, he wore a pink tank top and lycra leggings. I don't know where he got them; I didn't know any company made Lycra leggings in Men's X-tra Large Tall. They were pink and aqua, like the swirls down the sides of Jason's truck.

"Wow," I said, since it was all I could think of to say. "Wow. That's some outfit." When you've got a big guy wearing Lycra it doesn't leave a whole lot to the imagination. I resisted the temptation to ask Eric to turn around.

I get such a kick out of Eric. And I can't help loving a man who will wear Lycra when you need him to.

Lord of Scoundrels by Loretta Chase
When readers think about funny stories, I bet Lord of Scoundrels isn't often one that comes to mind. It's got drama, passion, and angst, but I don't think it's remembered for its comedy. But I love the subtle humor that threads throughout the book. Dain finds it hard to believe that anyone could find him physically attractive, so here's what he decides about his wife, Jessica.

With the world securely in order, Dain was able to devote the leisurely bath time to editing his mental dictionary. He removed his wife from the general category labeled "Females" and gave her a section of her own. He made a note that she didn't find him revolting, and proposed several explanations: (a) bad eyesight and faulty hearing, (b) a defect in a portion of her otherwise sound intellect, (c) an inherited Trent eccentricity, or (d) an act of God. Since the Almighty had not done him a single act of kindness in at least twenty-five years, Dain thought it was about bloody time, but he thanked his Heavenly Father all the same, and promised to be as good as he was capable of being.

There are many moments like this, moments of understated humor that I love.

Brighter Than the Sun by Julia Quinn
This may be one of my favorite comedies. Charles's propensity to make lists is hilarious. I also loved the scene where Eleanor goes to Charles, wanting to consummate their marriage.

She shrugged off the peignoir.

"Oh, God," he croaked. His eyes rolled heavenward. "I'm being tested. That's it, isn't it? I'm being tested."

"Charles?"

"Put that back on," he said frantically, grabbing the peignoir off the floor. It was still warm from her skin. He dropped it and reached for a woolen blanket. "No, better yet, put this on."

* * * * *

"Don't you want me?" she whispered. "Even a little bit? You did last week, but I wasn't dressed like this, and--"

"Are you mad?" he fairly shouted. "I want you so much I'm liable to perish on the spot. So cover yourself up, because otherwise you're going to kill me."

Ellie planted her hands on her hips, growing just a little irritated with the direction of the conversation.

* * * * *

"Are you sure?"

She nodded.

For a split second he didn't move. Then he came at her with a force that knocked the breath clear out of her. One minute Ellie was standing, and the next she was on her back, on the bed, with Charles on top of her.

Once Charles realizes what Ellie wants, he doesn't waste time. ;)

Boy Meets Girl by Meg Cabot
This is the first of Cabot's books I read, and I laughed all the way through it. There are so many funny scenes, but I love the one during Kate's deposition, when her boss and her boss's fiance try to shift blame onto her.

SH [Mitch's brother and Kate's boss's fiance]: Can't you see what she's doing? This young woman has a grudge against her employer because Ms. Jenkins had to reprimand her yesterday for wearing a skirt of an inappropriate length to the office, and she's just trying to--

JV [Attorney]: Is that true, Ms. Mackenzie?

KM [Kate]: Well. Yes, about the skirt. I mean, Amy issued me a warning letter about it.

MH [Mitch, the man Kate is dating]: That skirt you had on yesterday? That black suede one you wore to the restaurant?

KM: Um. Yes.

MH: I liked that skirt. What was wrong with that skirt?

Vengeance in Death by J.D. Robb
There are so many humorous moments in the In Death series that I may end up doing a separate list. However, I love seeing how people react to the unusual pairing of the cop (Eve) and former criminal (Roarke).

"I didn't properly introduce you to my wife, Brian. This is Eve. Lieutenant Eve Dallas, New York City Police and Security."

Brian choked on his whiskey, thumped his chest to help the air into his lungs. His eyes watered. "A cop? You married a bloody cop?"

"I married a bloody criminal," Eve muttered, "but nobody ever thinks of that."

"I do, darling." Amused, Roarke kissed her hand. "Constantly."

What are your favorite humorous moments?

Alyssa

About Me

I saw this on Shannon's blog and it looked fun. Basically, you bold all of the ones that apply to you, and add a new item at the bottom of the list. There were some missing numbers, so I added things there, too.

01. I miss somebody right now.
02. I don't watch much TV these days.
03. I love olives. (Like them, don't love them.)
04. I own lots of books.
05. I color my hair. (Usually right before a trip.)
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses. (I even have reading glasses that I wear with my contacts.)
07. I love to play video games.
08. I've tried marijuana.
09. I've watched porn movies.
10. I have been in a threesome.
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
13. I haven't been on a date in four years. (I'm working up to it.)
14. I collect magnets.
15. I curse sometimes.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
17. I have a hobby.
18. I'm overwhelmed by the messy state of my house.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. (No, but when I was in elementary school, I carried a pickle fork. Hey, I was worried about being kidnapped.)
20. I'm TOTALLY smart.
21. I've never broken someone's bones.
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
23. I hate the rain.
24. I'm paranoid at times. (It's one of my talents.)
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. (If it would get rid of stretch marks, yes.)
26. I need money right now.
27. I love sushi.
28. I talk really, really fast.
29. I have fresh breath in the morning.
30. I have long hair.
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister.
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis. (In the summer I do.)
35. I have a twin (or a triplet, or some such).
36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look.
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
40. I know how to cornrow.
41. I am usually pessimistic.
42. I have a lot of mood swings.
43. I think prostitution should be legalized.
44. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
45. Slept with a Suitemate.
46. I have a hidden talent.
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
48. I have a lot of friends. (A lot of casual friends, but few close friends.)
49. I am currently single.
50. I have pecked someone of the same sex. (Yes, if this means a kiss on the cheek.)
51. I enjoy talking on the phone.
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
53. I love to shop.
54. I would rather shop than eat.
55. I would classify myself as ghetto.
56. I have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
57. I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.
58. I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer.
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
62. I have a cell phone.
63. I believe in God.
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
66. I love drama. (Books and movies, but not in real life.)
67. I have never been in a real relationship before.
68. I've rejected someone before.
69. I currently have a crush/like someone.
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
71. I want to have children in the future. (Actually, I have mixed feelings about this, but I do want the option.)
72. I have changed a diaper before.
73. I've called the cops on a friend before.
74. I bite my nails.
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
76. I'm not allergic to anything.
77. I have a lot to learn. (Doesn't everyone?)
78. I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger. (I'm defining "been with someone" as "dated.")
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
80. I am shy around the opposite sex.
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
85. I own the "South Park" movie.
86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
88. I enjoy some country music. (Some, but not much.)
89. I would die for my best friends.
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist. (Maybe about some things, but not in general.)
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story." (I don't even know what this is.)
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
98. I have dated a close friend's ex.
99. I like surveys/memes. (Occasionally; I only do a few a month.)
100. I am happy at this moment. (It's the weekend.)
101. I'm obsessed with guys.
102. I am bisexual.
103. Democrat.
104. Conservative Republican.
105. I am punk rockish.
106. I am preppy.
107. I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
108. I study for tests most of the time. (Well, I did when I was in school.)
109. I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
110. I can work on a car.
111. I love my job.
112. I am comfortable with who I am right now.
113. I have more than just my ears pierced.
114. I walk barefoot wherever I can.
115. I have jumped off a bridge. (No, but I considered it during graduate school.)
116. I love sea turtles.
117. I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
118. I believe in prophetic dreams.
119. I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
120. I am proficient on a musical instrument.
121. I worked at McDonald's restaurant. (Give me a break; it was my first-ever job.)
122. I hate office jobs.
123. I love sci-fi movies.
124. I've never been in love.
125. I think water rules.
126. I am going to college out of state.
127. I am adopted.
128. I like sausage.
129. I am a pyro.
130. I love the Red Sox.
131. I have thrown up from crying too much.
132. I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
133. I love kisses.
134. I fall for the worst people and have been hurt every time.
135. I adore bright colors.
136. I enjoy Dear Abby. (But I don't go out of my way to read the column.)
137. I can't live without black eyeliner.
138. I think school is awesome. (If I define "school" as "college.")
139. I think pigtails serve a purpose.
140. I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
141. I usually like covers better than originals.
142. I don't like multitextured ice cream. (I don't know what this means.)
143. I think John Cusack is adorable.
144. I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGI Fridays.
145. I watch Food Network way too much.
146. I love coaching youth sports.
147. I can pick up things with my toes.
148. I can't whistle.
149. I can move my tounge in waves, much like a snakes' slither.
150. I have ridden/owned a horse. (Riden, not owned.)
151. I still have every journal I've ever written in.
152. I can't stick to a diet.
153. I can't hold my liquor and I'm an easy drunk.
154. One of my biggest fears is that I will become blind.

Alyssa

Miscellany

I'm having fun in the Books Lost and Found yahoogroup established by Sybil and Kristie. Here's how it works: everyone shares her wish list, which is compiled into a spreadsheet that group members can download and take with them to used bookstores. The group is just starting, and if the idea intrigues you, I encourage you to join.

I made a trip to the used bookstore today. I hadn't been planning one, since my TBR books are already out of control, but I loved the idea of finding books for other people, so off I went. And guess what? I found eight books for Sybil, two for Kristie, and one for Tara Marie. I also found five or six for myself. It was just as much fun finding books other people wanted.

I stopped at Michaels before going to the bookstore. I wanted to get a trimmer that was on sale; of course, I also bought a bunch of other scrapbooking embellishments. Sometimes I have no willpower. As I review my purchases, it looks like I left a bag of stuff at Michaels. Grrr. I'm glad I noticed now, although it's too late to run back for it tonight.

I think I mentioned last week that I went to a scrapbooking party. Last night I finished the pages; click on the links below to see them.

A Friend, Page 1
A Friend, Page 2

Make a Wish, Page 1
Make a Wish, Page 2
Make a Wish, Page 3
Make a Wish, Page 4

I wrote an article for work about using patterned paper, and I decided to put it to use on the A Friend pages. I love patterned paper (and have a ton of it), but I thought it would be nice not just to use it as the background. As for the Make a Wish pages, they finally gave me an opportunity to use some embellishments I've had for years. Yay!

Alyssa

Couldn't Help Myself

Beverly wrote about her dislike for clinch covers, and it reminded me (again) how easy it is to find romance novels with covers you can't help but wonder what the artist was thinking. Publishers need to give readers (and authors!) covers they can appreciate in a positive way. I do appreciate these covers, really, but not for the intended reasons. The books themselves are probably quite wonderful, but here's my take on the covers, with thanks to Beverly, Candy, and Sarah, who inspired me.





Her: "Is this OK?"
Him: "I'm perfectly comfortable, I assure you."
Her: "Um . . . isn't the breeze bothering you?"
Him: "I've got the leg warmers, and I enjoy a good breeze when I'm wearing a kilt. I'm sure no one can see under it at this angle."
Her: "Dear, I think you're starting to wobble. . . . How can I practice my bronco riding if you fall over?"





Him: "No, I don't have a really long neck. . . . No, I'm not wearing a neck brace. It's just a turtleneck, damn it! A turtleneck!"





Her: "Dearest one, I need your help." (Stamps feet.)
Him: "What?"
Her: "My hair is all tangled. Would you brush it for me? Pretty please?"
Him: "Really, I do have other things to do . . ."
Her: "If you won't do it, I'll ask your brother. He's the daring twin, after all."
Him: "Yes, but I'm smarter than he is--at least I wear protective gear when going out in windy weather. The sash coordinates with my kilt, too."





Him: "I'm . . . too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts . . ."
Her: "I do love that manly chest. But why does he insist on wearing the fish scale pants? Yes, they coordinate with his tunic, but really . . ."
Him: "Hey, at least this is my natural hair color."





Her: "I love the way it feels when you nibble my neck. But--"
Him: "But what?"
Her: "Your sword . . ."
Him: "Yes?"
Her: "It's so long . . . it looks dangerous. Do be careful where you put it."

Alyssa

Busy

My blog entries may be shorter or fewer during the next few weeks. I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. As for work, I'm going through my e-mail and making a list of current projects. At the moment, my list is 3/4 a page, but I'm just getting started. Believe it or not, the list is a good thing. It will make it much easier for me to explain why I need to turn down projects.

I also have a nice pile of books to review. I've read two and just need to write the reviews. One of them is Dead As a Doornail. I received this book in my last batch of books I received to review. Since I blogged about it, I have a good start. Still, I know from past experience that I blog less when I have too much on my review plate.

Yesterday, I received my order from Turn the Page bookstore, which included these autographed books:

• Bet Me: Jennifer Crusie


• Lord Will and Her Grace: Sophia Nash


• The One That Got Away: Eloisa James (among others)


• Public Displays of Affection: Susan Donovan


• Secrets of a Summer Night: Lisa Kleypas


• Take a Chance on Me: Susan Donovan

I'm reading Take a Chance on Me. This is the first time I've read Susan Donovan; I'm enjoying it so far.

Alyssa